The seasons of connection: are you in or out of sync with others?
I am enjoying a beautiful springtime visit in Maine, despite my body's violent rejection of the green wave of airborne pollen. The state of spring here in Maine is similar to that of spring in the Bay Area that we enjoyed in March.
It's lovely to re-experience one of my favorite seasons, and it reminds me of how our loved ones can be operating in completely different surroundings at the same time in their lives.
I've found that the same is true with emotional states and stages of life. Some people leap into maturity earlier than others, and other folks may settle into retirement more readily while a peer launches a new venture.
In my 20s, there was the pressure to couple up and find a partner (I married late!). The Wedding Zone leads to the Kid Years and is followed by the Empty Nest.
Often, there were some couples that only wanted couples around their dinner table. Some families socialized only with families with children of the same age. It didn't make sense to me then. Having been friends for years, why did I need to be in the same stage as certain friends in order to frequent their circles?
It makes more sense to me now as aging – the great equalizer – brings peers back in alignment in the familiar territory of tender joints, reading glasses, and wistfulness for our 20-year-old bodies.
During times of significant change and upheaval - a new marriage, children, the teenage years, significant illnesses - we can find it helpful to find others who are experiencing similar experiences. The same with personal growth.
You may find that at some point in time, your alignment may not be there with certain friends and acquaintances. You may reach out to a friend to find a gap in understanding and even in empathy. Know that with time, effort, and evolving times of life, your energies can create the connection once again.
The process may require weeks, years, and occasionally, even decades, as each life unfolds at a different pace.
Gain peace of mind from the fact that although you may not immediately connect with a friend, time and patience can nourish the connection once again. At that point you can happily compare notes about your travels.
I invite us all to celebrate the vibrancy of the season, both in nature and in our lives, cherishing the uniqueness of our journeys and finding delight in the connections we forge along the way.
Are you in sync with the season, yourself, and your dear ones?
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